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Wednesday 9 March 2011
Hanging around
I have discovered that hanging around the first class lounge for 2 and half hours on a Monday morning , waiting for the train from euston to Preston is a great time to write !!! They also serve brilliant pain au chocolate .
#am writing
#am writing
Thursday 3 March 2011
What a few weeks continued
A few days after Harry died I took Mum to the shops she cried in the car because Dad had slurred and his mouth had dropped down at the side the day before and he won't go to the Drs or talk about it and she certainly didn't want me to talk to my Dad about it and said she shouldn't be telling me. I noticed dad had trouble with his hand and arm on the day Harry died.
Spooky isn't it. That the story I wrote for my assignment was about a stroke victim and because I knew nothing about strokes I researched. So when I saw him rubbing his hand and holding his arm funny I latched on to it and asked or he wouldn't have said anything. That morning he had gone to Blackpool on his own, so when I phoned mum to tell her about Harry he wasn't there. But he didnt go to Blackpool he got off the bus in Preston and came home... He didnt know about Harry then , there was no reason to come home. He said he felt mean leaving mum on her own but he's been out all day before !! I am suspecting that he didnt feel well and came back because he knew it wasn't the norm. He won't tell us though if he feels ill. Seven or so years ago they didnt tell me mum had her stroke till 4 days after it. She had been in a train station when it happened and they didnt phone an ambulance for her they just got a taxi home.
So I added up speach + mouth + arm and got possible stroke??? Worried about Dad I ended up emailing their gp and asking if they could maybe send him a letter asking him to come for a routine check for the elderly and not to let on that I have told them anything because I promoised mum I wouldn't. If they know I've interfered they wont tell me anything again. Mums been in tears over it and its upsetting her tummy but dad hates Doctors and hospitals and wont go off his own bat.
The doctors surgery did write to my Dad and he has ignored it.
The day before the anniversary of my brother in laws Death I woke up about 6am. I felt the need to send Reiki to my husbands remaining brother. I don't know why but I followed my instincts and sent reiki for an hour even though my shoulder, arm and hand kept going dead/numb and uncomfortable. I left it until 8am to text his wife and ask if everything was ok cos I'd had the feeling to reiki Ste. She started to cry... It appears that my bro in law had got his lift to work an hour earlier that day and they had been in a head on collision not far from work at around 6.45am. A driver 3 times over the limit had driven into them at over 50 mph. The front passengers were just in shock, Ste and the other back passenger had been hurt. His Shoulder, arm and hand needed an xray. The other back passenger had been taken off to hospital on a spine board and she is still in hospital. They said it could or even should have been much worse. Police said they were really lucky. I just thank the universe for waking me up to send Reiki.
The walk was refreshing, the sun shone and I didn't notice the wind too much. I'm off to pour myself a Gin and tonic before another round of ' in-law ' visiting.
What a few weeks.
Why, oh why just when you think the year is settling down to be a normal one does the universe conspire to unsettle and upset you. It started with the news that my Uncle had died. He had been ill , but I hadn't expected it anywhere near as soon. It was a shock.
Uncle harry had always treated me like one of his own. I was an only child and they had five children. In their house there was always something going on, laughter, games and openess. Harry was equally proud of my achievements as he was of those of his own brood. If I had to choose another father I would have chosen Harry. Don't get me wrong... I love my own father dearly and wouldn't swop him (more on Dad later)... but if I liken it to the Queen having two birthdays , one official and one unofficial.... or taking and extra name at holy communion so you have one official and one unofficial... then that was my wish for Harry...(an unofficial father). He was the opposite of my father and I suppose that gave my safe and quiet life a healthy balance.I can't count the amount of times over my young , and not so young life, that I wished I belonged to their tribe. Harry made me feel as though I belonged but in truth I really just stood on the edge... As I did at the funeral. They all had each other in their grief and I stood at the edge being quietly eaten up by mine. Oh I gave them all hugs and we said the usual.. must keep in touch, go out etc but we are adults with our own lives in our own places and I know , as has always happened after events such as funerals, the keeping in touch lasts for just a short while then slides back into the way it was before.
Added to the pain of Harrys death is the fear of losing my father and all it's implications.
I am an only child, I have no-one to help me with my parents. They have quite a strict code of not letting emotions show or upsetting the other. They have made themselves an Island and no one gets a ticket to cross over without first agreeing not to rock the boat.....
But that's another story and I am off for a walk today (we didn't walk on tuesday)to hopefully clear my head and bore Carolyn senseless with my worries and problems... Don't worry , it's not all one sided she tells me hers too....
Yesterday was the first anniversary of the death of my husbands youngest brother from a brain tumour. The day has left me with would could turn out to be a migraine. At the beginning of february I thought that would be the only black spot/ obstacle to get over . But, dear reader, it has turned out to be just one item on a long list of black spots/ obstacles.
When I have some more time I will continue with my tale... until then ( in the manner of scheherazade ) I will leave you to your day and continue later.
Uncle harry had always treated me like one of his own. I was an only child and they had five children. In their house there was always something going on, laughter, games and openess. Harry was equally proud of my achievements as he was of those of his own brood. If I had to choose another father I would have chosen Harry. Don't get me wrong... I love my own father dearly and wouldn't swop him (more on Dad later)... but if I liken it to the Queen having two birthdays , one official and one unofficial.... or taking and extra name at holy communion so you have one official and one unofficial... then that was my wish for Harry...(an unofficial father). He was the opposite of my father and I suppose that gave my safe and quiet life a healthy balance.I can't count the amount of times over my young , and not so young life, that I wished I belonged to their tribe. Harry made me feel as though I belonged but in truth I really just stood on the edge... As I did at the funeral. They all had each other in their grief and I stood at the edge being quietly eaten up by mine. Oh I gave them all hugs and we said the usual.. must keep in touch, go out etc but we are adults with our own lives in our own places and I know , as has always happened after events such as funerals, the keeping in touch lasts for just a short while then slides back into the way it was before.
Added to the pain of Harrys death is the fear of losing my father and all it's implications.
I am an only child, I have no-one to help me with my parents. They have quite a strict code of not letting emotions show or upsetting the other. They have made themselves an Island and no one gets a ticket to cross over without first agreeing not to rock the boat.....
But that's another story and I am off for a walk today (we didn't walk on tuesday)to hopefully clear my head and bore Carolyn senseless with my worries and problems... Don't worry , it's not all one sided she tells me hers too....
Yesterday was the first anniversary of the death of my husbands youngest brother from a brain tumour. The day has left me with would could turn out to be a migraine. At the beginning of february I thought that would be the only black spot/ obstacle to get over . But, dear reader, it has turned out to be just one item on a long list of black spots/ obstacles.
When I have some more time I will continue with my tale... until then ( in the manner of scheherazade ) I will leave you to your day and continue later.
Thursday 17 February 2011
A Coastal walk and a sad week for our family.
Had a lovely but cold walk today. It was a bit last minute , but when my friend suggested a walk today because we missed our Tuesday walk, I jumped at the chance. My Uncle died late on Tuesday and I have felt the loss in many ways. Today I took the opportunity to have fresh air clear my head with an 8 mile walk along the coast
I can't believe I have never been to see these Gormley guys before
. Funny how you never investigate your local area but always look to go farther out to places for outings.
. Funny how you never investigate your local area but always look to go farther out to places for outings.
When I first heard about these guys I wondered what all the fuss was about, and as I hate over hype of any sort I avoided going to see them.
Today I came across them by accident.... I had forgotten they were there and also hadn't realised how far we had walked. They were a great sight. There was also evidence of scouse humour / vandalism , where someone had painted on swimming trunks and arm bands on one of the men ! When it is a better day weather wise I will take my camera back there for some better photos.
Tuesday 15 February 2011
As promised part of my TMA 01
Frustration
She squeezed her eyes and shifted awkwardly in the hard chair, her usually slim figure had shrunk to a bony thin frame and the lack of fat around her buttock cheeks made sitting in the waiting room uncomfortable.
She was still feeling vexed with the receptionist. The girl had reluctantly turned away from telling her colleague about her weekend, and then ignoring Elizabeth, had directed all questions and information to Paul.
A voice inside her screamed at the girl, ‘Talk to ME, I’m in front of you, I understand, it is my appointment for God’s sake.’ But she couldn’t say anything and instead had shrugged in exasperation, waved her hand dismissively at her husband meaning, ‘you sort it out’ then sat down.
The lighting in the room was unnaturally bright. She fidgeted with the rings on her numb hand, listened to the incessant paging of the Doctors and the matter of fact discussions of the medical staff. The wheels of a records trolley hissed past on the tiled floor and the automatic doors swooshed open to let more patients through. The room smelled of disinfectant. The therapist was late. She, Elizabeth, had never been late she had always started her lectures on time; she should be there now not sitting in a waiting room full of elderly patients. She caughta few of them giving her a pitying look and once or twice she looked up to find the receptionist staring at her.
Elizabeth pushed her long blonde fringe from her eyes clumsily with the wrist of her useless right hand, would she ever get used to using her left hand for everything, her glasses fell to the floor and she nudged her husband to retrieve them. He put them gently back on her nose and tidied up her fringe and the sides of her hair as he did so. She tried to say thanks but all that came out was a toneless moan followed by the indignity of drool escaping from the right side of her downturned mouth.
She was sitting with her head in her cupped hand when the therapist called her name.
‘How are you doing Mrs Upton? OK?’
‘She’s doing better than I could have hoped for considering how she was last month’ replied
Paul.
Elizabeth banged her good fist angrily on the table. She was exploding inside. The annoyance from someone speaking for her without knowing what she was thinking or what she wanted to say was burning inside her. She wanted to say that she was a prisoner; she wanted to explain that ther had been a mistake. She wanted to say that that somewhere somehow the Gods had made a mistake. She was only thirty three years old, this shouldn’t be happening to her.She wanted to say so much but the inability to form words and communicate came out as a throaty ‘Aaargh’ so she lashed out at Paul and turned away.
Then I remodelled it later at a writing workshop.......not sure which I like best.... think I like this better ???
Frustration
Karl sat patiently in the chair whilst Laura busied herself with the morning routine. He watched the children, Ben and Chloe, eat their coco pops and squabble over who would keep the cut out finger puppet on the back of the packet.
Then he accepted their kisses on his cheek as they left for school when the child minder picked them up from home.
Laura appeared by his chair, she wiped the dribble that was escaping from his downturned mouth, then planted a light kiss on his lips before helping him out to the car. He was a little unsteady on his feet but he was determined not to succumb to a wheel chair.
The waiting room at the clinic was already filling up. He stood by the reception desk with Laura and when the receptionist glanced at him but addressed Laura, he wanted to shout ' it's my appointment' but he gave a shrug and went to sit down.
The chair was uncomfortable and he shifted awkwardly in it. The waiting room was filled with elderly patients. What was he doing here. Why him ? The therapist was running late. He had never been late for work. Lateness is a sign of sloppiness. No room for sloppiness in his business.
His fringe flopped in his eyes and he tried to push it to one side with awkward movements from his jerking wrist. he needed a haircut. He had his hair cut every six weeks and it had been almost three months since his last visit to the barber and two months since...
'Mr Lander please'.
Laura helped him out of the chair and slowly into the consulting room.
'How are we today', chirped the Therpist.
'He's doing well, really' answered Laura not looking at Karl.
In his head words bounced like squash balls of a wall. Angry frustrated and out of control his indifference bowed to a greater superior strength and he banged his hand down on the table between the Therapist and Laura.
Startled they both turned and gaped at him.
He wanted to say that he could answer his own questions. He wanted to say that he was a prisoner in this body. He wanted to say that none of this should be happening to him, that someone some where had got it all wrong. He was too young. He wanted to tell them that he would be back to his old self soon. there was a lot of things he wanted to say, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was...
'aargh'.
copywrite BMC 21.01.11
Busy week.
I didn't go for my usual walk today because I have hubby off sick and 35 ebay items have sold overnight so am busy packing them up ,as they were all 30p to 50p an item I am also wondering if it is all worth it.... then I think of the trip back to Venice that we want to book for next year and I suppose it is.
It's mums birthday this week so am taking Mum and Dad out for a sight see and a meal on wednesday. They don't drive so when they go out on the bus and train they always get to see the same views, tomorrow I am taking them off the beaten track and maybe end up in Ilkley or similar. I have to be careful that Mum, who is disabled, will be able to walk along the pavements ok or I would have chosen Haworth or Grassington to take them, but with cobbles and hills places like that are not such a good idea.
Then probably off to the cottage at the weekend for hubbys birthday, maybe including a trip to the Lakes or the Dales on the saturday..................or maybe not if it's peeing down.
Yesterday I took up the rest of the lawn ( a big job I started 4 weeks ago ) and aerated it and raked up more leaves and for the first time in ages I slept well last night.
There has been some discussion on the post A174 forum about putting up our TMA's. I want to develop mine but I think I will be brave and put up part of my TMA 01...... and see what reaction I get.
I have had quite a lot of 'serendipity' moments lately too, so am hoping to find some quiet time this afternoon for a chance to meditate. if anything developes from that I will post it up. Last time I had a period of serendipity the results were amazing and re affirmed my belief in the unseen, elementals, spirit and intuition. I drafted out what happened to maybe include it at some point in a story .
It's mums birthday this week so am taking Mum and Dad out for a sight see and a meal on wednesday. They don't drive so when they go out on the bus and train they always get to see the same views, tomorrow I am taking them off the beaten track and maybe end up in Ilkley or similar. I have to be careful that Mum, who is disabled, will be able to walk along the pavements ok or I would have chosen Haworth or Grassington to take them, but with cobbles and hills places like that are not such a good idea.
Then probably off to the cottage at the weekend for hubbys birthday, maybe including a trip to the Lakes or the Dales on the saturday..................or maybe not if it's peeing down.
Yesterday I took up the rest of the lawn ( a big job I started 4 weeks ago ) and aerated it and raked up more leaves and for the first time in ages I slept well last night.
There has been some discussion on the post A174 forum about putting up our TMA's. I want to develop mine but I think I will be brave and put up part of my TMA 01...... and see what reaction I get.
I have had quite a lot of 'serendipity' moments lately too, so am hoping to find some quiet time this afternoon for a chance to meditate. if anything developes from that I will post it up. Last time I had a period of serendipity the results were amazing and re affirmed my belief in the unseen, elementals, spirit and intuition. I drafted out what happened to maybe include it at some point in a story .
Monday 14 February 2011
Opposites
I wrote a piece about someone who was so superstitious that it was ruining her life. I wondered what it would be like to write a piece about a character that was totally the opposite. I liked the start of it. Now I am wondering if these two people are related or work collegues , neighbours or..........? may have to finish it now so I can find out.. ha ha ha !
Neighbourly Nonsense
Neighbourly Nonsense
Joan was a matter of fact no nonsense woman, and she prided herself in that.
She was the sort of woman to tread on cracks in the pavement and walk under ladders on Friday the 13th. So when she was given a lucky rabbits foot as a gift from Amelia’s trip to Bonnie Scotland she was not impressed.
“It wasn’t lucky for the sod of a rabbit “she quipped when she opened it. “What do I do with a thing like this. Waste of money Amelia, you could have put it towards a nice bottle of scotch. Now that I could use ! ”
Amelia had no doubt of that. Joan had developed a taste for it several years ago and was becoming far too reliant on it as a relaxant after a days’ work.
B M C 13.02.11
Friday 11 February 2011
Family meal.
It is hubbys birthday next week and tonight was the only night that the whole family could be together for a meal so I arranged a Tapas night. Pip's girlfriend came too. I made chicken and bacon Paella, chicken and chorizo fajitas and tapas (despite my being a veggie and not able to eat it so I had crackers and cheese !) It went down really well. Then we played buzz on Pips playstation and the board game Balderdash . A good time was had by all.
I just have to face all the dirty dishes now.
I just have to face all the dirty dishes now.
Wednesday 9 February 2011
Bruges
I woke up this morning to the sound of rain beating on our window and flat roof and my immediate thought was that I would have to abandon all ideas of gardening today and my second thought was, 'hope it doesn't rain for the full 4 days in Bruge next month.'
I sold most of my hobby craft stuff on ebay last year and used the money to buy my hubby a Christmas, Anniversary and Birthday pressie of 4 days in Bruge and 5 days in Rome. :)
We fly out to Brussels then on to Bruge a month today and we can't wait. It is somewhere we have wanted to visit for years and just never got around to organising, so I am hoping it lives up to expectations and is worth the selling of my precious horde of yarn, fabric and threads etc.
I also bought him a book on walking tours of Bruge so we can take in as much as possible in the short time we are there. Hence my thought on the weather. I don't want it to rain the whole time we are there and March is so unpredictable. I suppose I could have picked a better month to go but I felt that it might cheer hubby up , lift his spirits, as it will be the first Anniversary of his youngest brother's death in March and it is a big milestone to pass for him, coupled with not being very happy in his job I imagine he will need a big lift around then.
Bruges is full of canals and as our favourite cities, Amsterdam and Venice are also full of canals Bruges seemed the ideal place to 'chill'.
We go to Rome in May. I blew the rest of my ebay money on a really nice hotel and a longer stay in this capital and hopefully it may be a little warmer by then to walk around the many old and arty sights.
I am still selling the rest of my craft on ebay, originally towards the next writing OU course I had registered on. But I may not waste my money on that now. I wasn't too impressed with the short course I have just finished, except that through the forum I met some really nice and interesting people ( some of whom I hope to remain in touch with) . I go to day workshops locally once a month and the class situation there is much more helpful that the whole of the short OU course was. I have given up any ideas of completing my degree, it is working out too expensive plus if I am not working anymore I don't need one. Maybe if I make millions through my writing Ha ha ha ha I may finish it just to say I have a degree........then again if I make millions with my writing, who cares about having a degree !! Ha ha ha....... I wish :)
I sold most of my hobby craft stuff on ebay last year and used the money to buy my hubby a Christmas, Anniversary and Birthday pressie of 4 days in Bruge and 5 days in Rome. :)
We fly out to Brussels then on to Bruge a month today and we can't wait. It is somewhere we have wanted to visit for years and just never got around to organising, so I am hoping it lives up to expectations and is worth the selling of my precious horde of yarn, fabric and threads etc.
I also bought him a book on walking tours of Bruge so we can take in as much as possible in the short time we are there. Hence my thought on the weather. I don't want it to rain the whole time we are there and March is so unpredictable. I suppose I could have picked a better month to go but I felt that it might cheer hubby up , lift his spirits, as it will be the first Anniversary of his youngest brother's death in March and it is a big milestone to pass for him, coupled with not being very happy in his job I imagine he will need a big lift around then.
Bruges is full of canals and as our favourite cities, Amsterdam and Venice are also full of canals Bruges seemed the ideal place to 'chill'.
We go to Rome in May. I blew the rest of my ebay money on a really nice hotel and a longer stay in this capital and hopefully it may be a little warmer by then to walk around the many old and arty sights.
I am still selling the rest of my craft on ebay, originally towards the next writing OU course I had registered on. But I may not waste my money on that now. I wasn't too impressed with the short course I have just finished, except that through the forum I met some really nice and interesting people ( some of whom I hope to remain in touch with) . I go to day workshops locally once a month and the class situation there is much more helpful that the whole of the short OU course was. I have given up any ideas of completing my degree, it is working out too expensive plus if I am not working anymore I don't need one. Maybe if I make millions through my writing Ha ha ha ha I may finish it just to say I have a degree........then again if I make millions with my writing, who cares about having a degree !! Ha ha ha....... I wish :)
Tuesday 8 February 2011
A difficult day.
An arrangement to go walking with a friend today was cancelled on the last minute , and as it was a lovely day and I was dressed for walking I walked the 4 miles to my Mums, had a cup of coffee and a piece of toast and walked back. I had hoped that the walk would inspire me to get on with some writing when I got back after lunch.
It didn't.
Mum had been upset telling me about the horrid bloke who lives at the back of them, hammering on their door and aggressivly accusing my Dad of destroying his privet hedge. Dad is 84yrs old and frail and it upset him so much he couldn't eat and felt sick for days. And the truth is that Dad planted the trees and hedge around their garden 52 years ago when they moved in and the plot was bare. The guy at the back has only lived there 30 years and doesnt look after his garden and the trees and that bit of hedge were dead anyway. Dad had the trees taken down and had a nice strong fence put in , he is too old now to care for the trees and that part of the hedge and he paid for it all himself. I was so angry that the guy had dared to upset my dad like that that the only creative writing I could think of on the walk back home was writing an angry letter to the brute.
When I was on my way home, my aunty phoned and asked if I could pick her up and run her to Southport Hospital to bring my Uncle home from a stay over the weekend, there had been some concern about his heart. I was happy to do that, Aunty Al has always been there for me when I needed her. My uncle was glad to be home and I went sraight from my aunties to ballroom dancing. Good job I'd thought to put my dancing shoes in the car. When I got to the dancing school there was a new couple joining us, and it rapidly became apparent that the woman wanted the attention and was a big know it all and thought she owned the floor. Consequently neither of us enjoyed it much tonight and I have come home on a low when usually we have laughed and giggled through the hour, as well as danced, and I usually come home on a high.
I thought that all the activity of the day had prevented me from writing..... then I realised that had only been an excuse, and I had woken up with writers block and hadn't felt like the challenge of overcoming it.
I also realised that the tutors label of 'dirty realism .. in the kitchen sink sense' that had described my story for the OU has really put me off writing at the moment, and I need to get out of that mindset.
Ho hum
x
It didn't.
Mum had been upset telling me about the horrid bloke who lives at the back of them, hammering on their door and aggressivly accusing my Dad of destroying his privet hedge. Dad is 84yrs old and frail and it upset him so much he couldn't eat and felt sick for days. And the truth is that Dad planted the trees and hedge around their garden 52 years ago when they moved in and the plot was bare. The guy at the back has only lived there 30 years and doesnt look after his garden and the trees and that bit of hedge were dead anyway. Dad had the trees taken down and had a nice strong fence put in , he is too old now to care for the trees and that part of the hedge and he paid for it all himself. I was so angry that the guy had dared to upset my dad like that that the only creative writing I could think of on the walk back home was writing an angry letter to the brute.
When I was on my way home, my aunty phoned and asked if I could pick her up and run her to Southport Hospital to bring my Uncle home from a stay over the weekend, there had been some concern about his heart. I was happy to do that, Aunty Al has always been there for me when I needed her. My uncle was glad to be home and I went sraight from my aunties to ballroom dancing. Good job I'd thought to put my dancing shoes in the car. When I got to the dancing school there was a new couple joining us, and it rapidly became apparent that the woman wanted the attention and was a big know it all and thought she owned the floor. Consequently neither of us enjoyed it much tonight and I have come home on a low when usually we have laughed and giggled through the hour, as well as danced, and I usually come home on a high.
I thought that all the activity of the day had prevented me from writing..... then I realised that had only been an excuse, and I had woken up with writers block and hadn't felt like the challenge of overcoming it.
I also realised that the tutors label of 'dirty realism .. in the kitchen sink sense' that had described my story for the OU has really put me off writing at the moment, and I need to get out of that mindset.
Ho hum
x
Thursday 3 February 2011
TMA Open Uni
Well I passed my OU assignment with probably a decent score , though it was a bit lower than my first score of 76. I ought to be feeling really pleased with myself but find I am dissapointed.
Silly because I wasn't convinced that the second story was good enough , I wrote it without going through the last 3 blocks in the course , what with Christmas and Migraine etc, and wasn't totally sure what was expected of me.
The bit that is dissapointing I suppose was not the comments embedded in the story, which were mostly positive, but the fact that reading through the advice on the commentry it seems I got most of that wrong. I thought I was writing in the genre of 'magical realism' when in fact I was writing in 'dirty realism'. Isn't it strange that when told I am writing 'dirty realism' I instantly feel that I don't want to continue with it.... the word 'dirty' has soiled it for me.
Perhaps it is just my age.I know that dirty realism is : literary genre portraying disaffected: a literary genre, originating in the United States, using an unpretentious laconic style and depicting the lives of rootless and disaffected people
but I was writing about serendipity, angels, the intervention of the spiritual and magical unseen and what can be achieved with a belief in things that can't be seen but intuition tells you is there.
Because I got this genre wrong the rest of the comments on the story were relating to 'dirty realism'.
What , with speculative fiction instead of fantasy/sci fi, and dirty realism instead of magical realism I am so totally confused and feel that I will never get into this writing lark...... or maybe it is just how I feel at the moment because I've had a migraine coming and going and coming the past 2 days.
Me thinks....Time for a cup of tea !
Silly because I wasn't convinced that the second story was good enough , I wrote it without going through the last 3 blocks in the course , what with Christmas and Migraine etc, and wasn't totally sure what was expected of me.
The bit that is dissapointing I suppose was not the comments embedded in the story, which were mostly positive, but the fact that reading through the advice on the commentry it seems I got most of that wrong. I thought I was writing in the genre of 'magical realism' when in fact I was writing in 'dirty realism'. Isn't it strange that when told I am writing 'dirty realism' I instantly feel that I don't want to continue with it.... the word 'dirty' has soiled it for me.
Perhaps it is just my age.I know that dirty realism is : literary genre portraying disaffected: a literary genre, originating in the United States, using an unpretentious laconic style and depicting the lives of rootless and disaffected people
but I was writing about serendipity, angels, the intervention of the spiritual and magical unseen and what can be achieved with a belief in things that can't be seen but intuition tells you is there.
Because I got this genre wrong the rest of the comments on the story were relating to 'dirty realism'.
What , with speculative fiction instead of fantasy/sci fi, and dirty realism instead of magical realism I am so totally confused and feel that I will never get into this writing lark...... or maybe it is just how I feel at the moment because I've had a migraine coming and going and coming the past 2 days.
Me thinks....Time for a cup of tea !
Tuesday 1 February 2011
MADNESS
50 million for a footballer !!!
Speechless.
May as well get some gardening done while it's quite warm and I have no inspiration for writing because all I can think of is ....
50 million for a footballer !!
Speechless.
May as well get some gardening done while it's quite warm and I have no inspiration for writing because all I can think of is ....
50 million for a footballer !!
Monday 31 January 2011
A trip to the Walker Art Gallery in Liverpool
Well my Open University course my be coming to a close but I am determined to carry on writing.... was that ever a film ??
Finding myself at a loose end today I made an early start an took myself on the train to Liverpool. I haven't been on the train for ages and can't remember when I last went to Liverpool. I had a stroll around the new Liverpool One shopping area and wasn't impressed so I made my way up to the Philharmonic passed the bombed out church to meet a friend who has a studio up there. She is a very good dressmaker/designer, we first met when we both worked as consultants for the textile industry ( she is young and enthusiastic and is the girl I went to Paris with for her 30th . She goes under business name of Shameless Originals if you are looking for your own unique outfit). We had a breakfast in the Pilgrim Pub up that end of Liverpool. Whilst we were waiting for the breakfast to arrive I told her of a vague idea for a story and my plan to have a look in the ' Walker' for some inspiration.
My feet were sore by the time I walked back to the shopping end of town, perhaps new shoes with heels are not the best equipment for pounding the touristy pavements of the city (uneven paving slabs and lots of cobbles ! ) When I got to the Walker Gallery I just wanted to sit down. I sat in the first gallery I came to which just happened to be my favourite pre raphaelite artists. And ... it happened..... inspiration grabbed me and wouldn't let go. I made a few hasty notes while I was there then rushed off for the train home before anything dampened it.
This is just a quick note because now I am going to write it all down.
Bye eee
x
Finding myself at a loose end today I made an early start an took myself on the train to Liverpool. I haven't been on the train for ages and can't remember when I last went to Liverpool. I had a stroll around the new Liverpool One shopping area and wasn't impressed so I made my way up to the Philharmonic passed the bombed out church to meet a friend who has a studio up there. She is a very good dressmaker/designer, we first met when we both worked as consultants for the textile industry ( she is young and enthusiastic and is the girl I went to Paris with for her 30th . She goes under business name of Shameless Originals if you are looking for your own unique outfit). We had a breakfast in the Pilgrim Pub up that end of Liverpool. Whilst we were waiting for the breakfast to arrive I told her of a vague idea for a story and my plan to have a look in the ' Walker' for some inspiration.
My feet were sore by the time I walked back to the shopping end of town, perhaps new shoes with heels are not the best equipment for pounding the touristy pavements of the city (uneven paving slabs and lots of cobbles ! ) When I got to the Walker Gallery I just wanted to sit down. I sat in the first gallery I came to which just happened to be my favourite pre raphaelite artists. And ... it happened..... inspiration grabbed me and wouldn't let go. I made a few hasty notes while I was there then rushed off for the train home before anything dampened it.
This is just a quick note because now I am going to write it all down.
Bye eee
x
Thursday 27 January 2011
The Retired Pilot (a writing day workshop (10 minutes of writing) prompt
My wings are clipped now.
I am too old to soar weightless among the clouds and I have to spend my days gazing upwards, watching a game of noughts and crosses playing across the sky.
Cotton wool no longer brings images of fluffy clouds and serene peacefulness, but rather it reminds me that when it is full of liquid it escapes in a slow dribble at first, then rushes down the trunks and legs of anything in its way to form a puddle of something murky on the ground. Not the fresh water that had first been taken in but the result of toxins and man made substances and polution.
The blue of the sky and bright sunlight bouncing off clouds and glass, no longer serves to make my heart sing but rather mocks my decent to the earth and that stomach gripping feeling of falling out of the sky is replaced by a fear of death and the inevitable darkness that follows the descent into the earth.
All these years I thought that while I was up there I was so close to God - when really down here, now that I am old, I am closer to him than I have ever been.
Awen/ Bren
I am too old to soar weightless among the clouds and I have to spend my days gazing upwards, watching a game of noughts and crosses playing across the sky.
Cotton wool no longer brings images of fluffy clouds and serene peacefulness, but rather it reminds me that when it is full of liquid it escapes in a slow dribble at first, then rushes down the trunks and legs of anything in its way to form a puddle of something murky on the ground. Not the fresh water that had first been taken in but the result of toxins and man made substances and polution.
The blue of the sky and bright sunlight bouncing off clouds and glass, no longer serves to make my heart sing but rather mocks my decent to the earth and that stomach gripping feeling of falling out of the sky is replaced by a fear of death and the inevitable darkness that follows the descent into the earth.
All these years I thought that while I was up there I was so close to God - when really down here, now that I am old, I am closer to him than I have ever been.
Awen/ Bren
Monday 24 January 2011
No. 10 The Coffee House , Haworth
On Saturday I thought I had died and gone to scone heaven.
We started out to go to Haworth and stopped off for a cup of tea and a nosey at the Scar Top sale. Having purchased a bookcase and a cold cup of tea we abandoned our original idea of going to Haworth and decided on a trip to Keighley.
We had not been to Keighley before and soon discovered why as we drove through it and back out again !!
So deciding to revert back to our first plan we headed back to Haworth. We approached from a side of the town that we had never seen before. A quick look at the steam trains and the park took us to join Main Street and familiar ground.
We were looking in a cake shop window and I said to my husband.
'Those fat rascals don't look as nice as Betty's ( we usually had them in Betty's tea rooms in Ilkley and Harrogate )'
'They're better than Betty's ,' said a voice behind us.
I turned and the guy who had made the comment said again.
'much better, but if you want the best Fat rascals you want to go to NO.10 at the bottom of the street. Ask for Claire, she'll see you right.'
'No. 10 ' said I , making sure I heard right.
'That's right. If Claire was in harrogate she would put Betty's out of business.'
We don't need telling twice and with our tum's rumbling anyway we hot footed it down the hill to NO. 10.
It was a B and B and Coffee shop and we probably hadn't noticed it before because it had it's door shut and it had a B&B sign. But we opened the door and we were welcomed by that Angel called Claire ( who declares herself 'away with the fairies' .... so we have a lot in common.)who found us a table and broke the bad news that she had run out of fat rascals and plain and cherry scones. But if we really wanted plain scones she could probably whip some up in 15 to 20 minutes for us. Then she offered us Orange and walnut scones with Mascarpone and fig compote or a choice of cakes off her menu board.
I am not telling you fibs. That scone was heavenly. The service was excellent and the ambiance warm and welcoming. I have no hesitation in recommending it to everyone taking a trip to Haworth. Claire only makes cakes and scones, not meals, but they are well worth that special effort to find her Coffee House after a meal somewhere else or for just a snack.
Also if you phone ahead she will try to make you a batch of scone/cake for you to pick up and take home. We took home two slices of Raspberry and Almond slice to eat after tea the next day. Very yummy.
And to think if we had either followed our original plan to go to Haworth first or if we had stayed in Keighley we wouldn't have known about her delicious scones and cakes.
Funny how things work out.
Spooky.!
We started out to go to Haworth and stopped off for a cup of tea and a nosey at the Scar Top sale. Having purchased a bookcase and a cold cup of tea we abandoned our original idea of going to Haworth and decided on a trip to Keighley.
We had not been to Keighley before and soon discovered why as we drove through it and back out again !!
So deciding to revert back to our first plan we headed back to Haworth. We approached from a side of the town that we had never seen before. A quick look at the steam trains and the park took us to join Main Street and familiar ground.
We were looking in a cake shop window and I said to my husband.
'Those fat rascals don't look as nice as Betty's ( we usually had them in Betty's tea rooms in Ilkley and Harrogate )'
'They're better than Betty's ,' said a voice behind us.
I turned and the guy who had made the comment said again.
'much better, but if you want the best Fat rascals you want to go to NO.10 at the bottom of the street. Ask for Claire, she'll see you right.'
'No. 10 ' said I , making sure I heard right.
'That's right. If Claire was in harrogate she would put Betty's out of business.'
We don't need telling twice and with our tum's rumbling anyway we hot footed it down the hill to NO. 10.
It was a B and B and Coffee shop and we probably hadn't noticed it before because it had it's door shut and it had a B&B sign. But we opened the door and we were welcomed by that Angel called Claire ( who declares herself 'away with the fairies' .... so we have a lot in common.)who found us a table and broke the bad news that she had run out of fat rascals and plain and cherry scones. But if we really wanted plain scones she could probably whip some up in 15 to 20 minutes for us. Then she offered us Orange and walnut scones with Mascarpone and fig compote or a choice of cakes off her menu board.
I am not telling you fibs. That scone was heavenly. The service was excellent and the ambiance warm and welcoming. I have no hesitation in recommending it to everyone taking a trip to Haworth. Claire only makes cakes and scones, not meals, but they are well worth that special effort to find her Coffee House after a meal somewhere else or for just a snack.
Also if you phone ahead she will try to make you a batch of scone/cake for you to pick up and take home. We took home two slices of Raspberry and Almond slice to eat after tea the next day. Very yummy.
And to think if we had either followed our original plan to go to Haworth first or if we had stayed in Keighley we wouldn't have known about her delicious scones and cakes.
Funny how things work out.
Spooky.!
Thursday 20 January 2011
Teen v Adult Fiction continued
Discussion has spread to more family and friends... some of the comments are as follows.:
I was 13 when I started to read Wilbur Smith novels so there is really no such thing as teen fiction. Teens read what they like.
You can't put teens in one box. Some teens are out drinking and smoking and know more swear words than adults. Others are stuck in front of computer games and some are scouting or swotting for exams. What one book of teen fiction would suit all of them.
I read the Twighlight series and it was better than some of my books for adults.
When you are a teen you think you are an adult. In the library you are more likely to look in the adult section than be seen in the childrens section.
I was quite shocked at the things they write about now in Children and teen books.
It seems to me that unless you write about one parent families or dysfunctional families you won't get your children books published. It seems they don't want children to believe that a normal family with two parents can be happy or interesting.
Normal happy families are too Enid Blyton.
And the debate continues..............
I was 13 when I started to read Wilbur Smith novels so there is really no such thing as teen fiction. Teens read what they like.
You can't put teens in one box. Some teens are out drinking and smoking and know more swear words than adults. Others are stuck in front of computer games and some are scouting or swotting for exams. What one book of teen fiction would suit all of them.
I read the Twighlight series and it was better than some of my books for adults.
When you are a teen you think you are an adult. In the library you are more likely to look in the adult section than be seen in the childrens section.
I was quite shocked at the things they write about now in Children and teen books.
It seems to me that unless you write about one parent families or dysfunctional families you won't get your children books published. It seems they don't want children to believe that a normal family with two parents can be happy or interesting.
Normal happy families are too Enid Blyton.
And the debate continues..............
The lunch time sandwhich
It promised heaven on a plate
Seduced with words like fresh and soft
That wasn't what I ate
Described the bread as grain and nutty
the cheese as creamy crumbly Lancs
That wasn't on my butty
I should wrap it up and take it back
where was the home made apple chutney
That wasn't in my snack.
The bread was dry, tasteless and plain
last weeks cheese was hard and lonely.
I won't make my own lunch again.
Seduced with words like fresh and soft
That wasn't what I ate
Described the bread as grain and nutty
the cheese as creamy crumbly Lancs
That wasn't on my butty
I should wrap it up and take it back
where was the home made apple chutney
That wasn't in my snack.
The bread was dry, tasteless and plain
last weeks cheese was hard and lonely.
I won't make my own lunch again.
Wednesday 19 January 2011
A new year.... a new start ????
Well I am sitting here writing a blog when I should be writing 1500 word short story for the OU.
I have come across an interesting debate. I found my story was starting to lean towards teen fiction and asked the tutor if teen fiction would be allowed for the assignment. The answer was no. Not unless it crosses with adult fiction such as in the case of the missing dog at midnight by Mark Haddon.
I posted on our forum to that effect and the interesting debate it sparked off was..... where does Teen fiction end and adult fiction begin. Theses days more and more adults are reading storys such as Harry Potter and the Golden Compass, Inkheart and Spiderwick chronicles. Narnia is another good example.
With older teens probably knowing more than my generation did at that age, were can you draw the line and say 'that is for an adult and that is for a teen'
Now I have not only grammar and punctuation , spelling and layout, Genre and point of view I also have to consider the fine line of age/ maturity when writing something bordering on teen/adult interest.
Grrrr
Back to my 1500 words.
Toodle pip !
I have come across an interesting debate. I found my story was starting to lean towards teen fiction and asked the tutor if teen fiction would be allowed for the assignment. The answer was no. Not unless it crosses with adult fiction such as in the case of the missing dog at midnight by Mark Haddon.
I posted on our forum to that effect and the interesting debate it sparked off was..... where does Teen fiction end and adult fiction begin. Theses days more and more adults are reading storys such as Harry Potter and the Golden Compass, Inkheart and Spiderwick chronicles. Narnia is another good example.
With older teens probably knowing more than my generation did at that age, were can you draw the line and say 'that is for an adult and that is for a teen'
Now I have not only grammar and punctuation , spelling and layout, Genre and point of view I also have to consider the fine line of age/ maturity when writing something bordering on teen/adult interest.
Grrrr
Back to my 1500 words.
Toodle pip !
End of Another Year
22nd December 2010
While I had a quiet moment in the choas and mayhem disguised as Christmas I thought I would pen some more thoughts and news.
I say 'pen' but sitting at the PC tapping the keys on the keyboard isn't quite the same as good old fashioned pen and paper .... does anyone use fountain pens anymore these days?..... and sitting at a writing desk, painstakingly filling Basildon Bond pages with neat writing and no crossings out. And I still remember the feeling of getting long letters through the post. Does anyone out there feel the same about recieving a long email ? I hate reading from the PC screen because after a few moments the words dance around and shuffle about and play games with my eyes !!!
And I refuse to give in and magnify the screen .... ha ha ha 
Talking of dance.... I joined the U3A in Aughton and Ormskirk and after a year of dithering over wether to join in the activitys I finally braved the Book reading group.. Except for the Woman in White I haven't liked any of the books so far but I did meet a girl ( yes I know we are all over 50 but we are still girls at heart) who invited me to the Salsa fit class. It is great fun and I have joined the tap dancing class too. I'm the one who is always a few taps behind,
lol
I persuaded my husband to join the ballroom dancing classes in Burscough in September , there is only us and another couple and it's great fun, neither of us can get it all right from one week to the next and they also have Liverpool season tickets so the evening starts and ends with football talk ! I joined the salsa and Argentine Tango class at the same dance school on my own. That is fun too , I have had a few different partners since I started, but they are a great bunch and it is always a laugh, especially the tango lunge and the salsa windmill, and I always get the giggles
I have never grown up.
The dance exercise keeps the asthma from getting worse and keeps my spirits up. I have met new and lovely people through it and it makes the daily headaches easier to cope with ( along with the help of daily pain killers of course). I don't miss work but I often wish for a job of sorts because I feel useless ... but on the plus side I have more time for walking , dancing, writing and living.
My open university course for creative writing is going well.
My son has got a job in a bank call centre, not ideal but it will do until he starts a career in an area he wants to work. He is back living at home.
My daughter has just moved into a lovely flat in Appley bridge not far from the factory she works in. She is one of two in the HR department and is doing her HR exams as it is a role she loves doing.
We went on a norwegian cruise in May It was so good and we were sorry that it was only a week, but we did join in with the norwegian national day celebrations which was a great experience, that we booked another cruise while we were on board and are going on a Baltic one in September (with 3 days in St Petersburg !). Looking forward to it.
We also had a break in Amsterdam in September for my birthday and my brother and sister in laws anniversary. It is the first time we have been away with them and we had a terrific time and plan to repeat a similar one next year.
We went to Portmeirian as usual for our Anniversary and just got back the day before the bad snow started. We love it there. It is our annual quiet time together before the mad season starts.
I wish you all a very Happy, healthy and loving 2011
See you next year
:)
xxx
While I had a quiet moment in the choas and mayhem disguised as Christmas I thought I would pen some more thoughts and news.
I say 'pen' but sitting at the PC tapping the keys on the keyboard isn't quite the same as good old fashioned pen and paper .... does anyone use fountain pens anymore these days?..... and sitting at a writing desk, painstakingly filling Basildon Bond pages with neat writing and no crossings out. And I still remember the feeling of getting long letters through the post. Does anyone out there feel the same about recieving a long email ? I hate reading from the PC screen because after a few moments the words dance around and shuffle about and play games with my eyes !!!
And I refuse to give in and magnify the screen .... ha ha ha Talking of dance.... I joined the U3A in Aughton and Ormskirk and after a year of dithering over wether to join in the activitys I finally braved the Book reading group.. Except for the Woman in White I haven't liked any of the books so far but I did meet a girl ( yes I know we are all over 50 but we are still girls at heart) who invited me to the Salsa fit class. It is great fun and I have joined the tap dancing class too. I'm the one who is always a few taps behind,
lolI persuaded my husband to join the ballroom dancing classes in Burscough in September , there is only us and another couple and it's great fun, neither of us can get it all right from one week to the next and they also have Liverpool season tickets so the evening starts and ends with football talk ! I joined the salsa and Argentine Tango class at the same dance school on my own. That is fun too , I have had a few different partners since I started, but they are a great bunch and it is always a laugh, especially the tango lunge and the salsa windmill, and I always get the giggles
I have never grown up.The dance exercise keeps the asthma from getting worse and keeps my spirits up. I have met new and lovely people through it and it makes the daily headaches easier to cope with ( along with the help of daily pain killers of course). I don't miss work but I often wish for a job of sorts because I feel useless ... but on the plus side I have more time for walking , dancing, writing and living.
My open university course for creative writing is going well.
My son has got a job in a bank call centre, not ideal but it will do until he starts a career in an area he wants to work. He is back living at home.
My daughter has just moved into a lovely flat in Appley bridge not far from the factory she works in. She is one of two in the HR department and is doing her HR exams as it is a role she loves doing.
We went on a norwegian cruise in May It was so good and we were sorry that it was only a week, but we did join in with the norwegian national day celebrations which was a great experience, that we booked another cruise while we were on board and are going on a Baltic one in September (with 3 days in St Petersburg !). Looking forward to it.
We also had a break in Amsterdam in September for my birthday and my brother and sister in laws anniversary. It is the first time we have been away with them and we had a terrific time and plan to repeat a similar one next year.
We went to Portmeirian as usual for our Anniversary and just got back the day before the bad snow started. We love it there. It is our annual quiet time together before the mad season starts.
I wish you all a very Happy, healthy and loving 2011
See you next year
:)
xxx
The Next Stage
27th August 2010
Well I had a go at the vegan diet but once the oncologist told me that changing diet doesnt help my type of cancer I went back to including eggs and cheese and a little bit of fish in my diet. Food now tastes so much better !!!
The tamoxifen tablets I am on now are horrible. they give me daily headaches that often turn to migraine without warning, blurred vision, aching joints, tiredness, nausea and countless more......
I am haveing some sessions of reiki and reflexology to see if I can counteract the side effects holistically. With all this my prognosis is 70% without tamoxifen etc it is only 50% so its worth bashing on with the tablets and side effects ... just a case of put up and shut up.
My hubby and I have taken up walking properly, and are planning to walk the Dales way next year so we are getting in lots of practice and of course I am putting my walking outfit together now !!!! It all has to colour co-ordinate ! lol. Heaven forbid if I my colours look thrown together as well as saturated by rain and splattered with mud. :)
I have also started to weed out the craftes I no longer want to do . Now that I am not working I cant justify spending out on expensive hobbies so the knitting and quilting has to go. I will still keep hold of hand embroidery and machine sewing/embroidery. But I have added writing and walking to the hobby list because it is much cheaper and takes up loads of time. All you need is a pen and paper for the writing and once I have the right outfit :) lol all I need for walking is enthusiasm .
At the moment I am clearing a spare room to make a study ( yes I know that at this particular moment I am typing at the computer, but we all need a break ). It is taking me a long time because I keep coming across memories then I sit and dwell on them and as is happening so often these days , I wonder were the time went and why it goes so fast.
I must have kept all the childrens drawings ( or paint splodges ) from their early years along with presents they made and school work.... the photos will take me years to sort out and put in albums.... and my own dolls and kiddy bits and pieces are also in there. I havent the heart to throw them away, not after keeping them all this time.
Have you noticed now that in antique shops things we had as children in the house and toys are now being sold as antiques. Depressing isnt it? I dont feel like an antique. What happened to retro? I could cope with being retro! Retro seems to be the 70's and 80's now. Even vintage would be a nicer description, it makes one seem elegant and irreplaceable, treasured and savoured , like a vintage wine.
Time to carry on with the sorting.
Bye for now :)
Well I had a go at the vegan diet but once the oncologist told me that changing diet doesnt help my type of cancer I went back to including eggs and cheese and a little bit of fish in my diet. Food now tastes so much better !!!
The tamoxifen tablets I am on now are horrible. they give me daily headaches that often turn to migraine without warning, blurred vision, aching joints, tiredness, nausea and countless more......
I am haveing some sessions of reiki and reflexology to see if I can counteract the side effects holistically. With all this my prognosis is 70% without tamoxifen etc it is only 50% so its worth bashing on with the tablets and side effects ... just a case of put up and shut up.
My hubby and I have taken up walking properly, and are planning to walk the Dales way next year so we are getting in lots of practice and of course I am putting my walking outfit together now !!!! It all has to colour co-ordinate ! lol. Heaven forbid if I my colours look thrown together as well as saturated by rain and splattered with mud. :)
I have also started to weed out the craftes I no longer want to do . Now that I am not working I cant justify spending out on expensive hobbies so the knitting and quilting has to go. I will still keep hold of hand embroidery and machine sewing/embroidery. But I have added writing and walking to the hobby list because it is much cheaper and takes up loads of time. All you need is a pen and paper for the writing and once I have the right outfit :) lol all I need for walking is enthusiasm .
At the moment I am clearing a spare room to make a study ( yes I know that at this particular moment I am typing at the computer, but we all need a break ). It is taking me a long time because I keep coming across memories then I sit and dwell on them and as is happening so often these days , I wonder were the time went and why it goes so fast.
I must have kept all the childrens drawings ( or paint splodges ) from their early years along with presents they made and school work.... the photos will take me years to sort out and put in albums.... and my own dolls and kiddy bits and pieces are also in there. I havent the heart to throw them away, not after keeping them all this time.
Have you noticed now that in antique shops things we had as children in the house and toys are now being sold as antiques. Depressing isnt it? I dont feel like an antique. What happened to retro? I could cope with being retro! Retro seems to be the 70's and 80's now. Even vintage would be a nicer description, it makes one seem elegant and irreplaceable, treasured and savoured , like a vintage wine.
Time to carry on with the sorting.
Bye for now :)
The Start of a journey
In October 2007 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. As well as the bad news I lost the job I loved because I was only freelance and couldn't be where they needed me whilst in hospital and recovering.
It was a scarey time and I had to hold it all together for the family, I had a lumpectomy but because the cancer had spread into and through my Lymph glands I had them removed too.I had to have 7 months of Chemotherapy when my hair fell out and I hated my wig so used to bare the bald look, and then 5 weeks of radiotherapy.
I tried to keep a positive attitude and on the days when I wasn't laid up after chemo or undergoing the radiotherapy which made me so unbelievably tired and weak I worked harder than ever at a temporary job up and down the country to keep myself occupied and my mind off the nausea and side effects. By september 2008 I was sporting a very short , no.2 haircut
Unfortunately for me the worst was yet to come in the form of Tamoxifen , the cancer fighting drug I needed to take for 5 years. It was soon apparent that I was intolerant to the generic form , having daily migraines, they discovered my side effects were less on a brand called Nolvadex D so I have been taking that for a year. It isn't ideal having uncomfortable and emotional side effects and the doctors are reluctant to prescribe it being more expensive than the generic brands.
And when I thought It was bad enough... more bad news... the suppliers in Britain no longer bring Nolvadex D into the country. My choices are now have the generic form and daily migraines ( no quality of life there) or do without ( and take my chances on the return of cancer ). It was a difficult choice but i have decided to do without, and instead fight the threat of cancer by changing my diet. Already a vegaquarian !! ( I don't eat meat and eat very little fish) I have discovered books on the subject that recommend that you follow a vegan diet to prevent the return of cancer.
As I love cheese and milk this will be incredibly hard to follow but I'm going to give it a try.........
I will keep you posted on my progress or lack of will power...
My advice to all of you guys and girls is keep checking regularly for lumps and if you think you have found one get yourself to the doctors.
I found mine in 2005, I had all the checks and was told it was benign. I let it grow for 2 years !!!
They had missed the cancer on the 2005 mammogram and got the diagnosis wrong. In hind sight I should have gone back and queried it but I let it get worse because I trusted the hospital..
If you are worried , talk to the GP.
Bye for now
x
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