A Rondeau Redouble

I can not write to order it must be said
Not to put pen to paper instantly
But to pour over empty page instead
Is what I do in class constantly.

It's not as if I take it too lightly
I really want to write , but this I dread
When tutor says now write choosing from these three
I cannot write to order it must be said.

Pen poised paper blank, no thoughts in't head
Willing some ideas to flow freely
Wishing this morning that I'd stayed in bed
Instead of putting myself through this misery.

Why when I look on line do I see
Other students doing easily what I dread
While I have writers block they write furiously
I cannot write to order it must be said.

And still on paper I've nothing to be read
I've studied all the guidelines carefully
But this career will not earn my bread
A writer I am not destined to be.

I hope I don't have to write through necessity
For one things certain I won't be overfed
And once again it has occured to me
To try to find another job instead.

I cannot write to order.